It's always too loud, everything's too loud.

" I'll never ask permission from you. Fuck off, I'm not listening to you." 

   Why is it that every teenager  is expected to rebel against what they were brought up by? Why does every parent think the teenage years are worse then the terrible twos? Most importantly, why did we get caught in the stereotype?

     I can tell you from the perspective of a teenager that you need to give us a break. We're learning who we are,  we're trying to conform to todays ever-changing society, and we're trying to please ourselves. You can call it selfishness if you want, but also try to remember things are different.

     We're trying to make something  of ourselves, and those of us who aren't, well, then the parents clearly screwed up somewhere, or maybe not. I don't know. I don't pretend to be the ruler of the universe, I don't even pretend that there is one. Maybe their parents pushed 'em so hard that they ended up automatically reverse processing everything their parents would say or tell them to do. Maybe they're just fucked up in the head, whatever the explanation is, that person's still a kid, and needs to have support.

    Some parents claim  that every child is just doing the opposite of what they say for kicks, when I can tell you -again from the perspective of a teenager- that most of us are trying to please you, we just don't know how to go about in doing so. When we can't do it, we give up and just stop caring. Also, parents if your reading, keep in mind  (1.) we have the  attention span of a flea and (2.)  This is all my opinion, so don't get angry at me if you think I'm wrong , which I probably am.

     Another thing you  should know is most of the time, our self esteem is in the trenches. So, it really sucks when you tell us we aren't trying hard enough or that we're disobedient, or that we're belligerent or whatever it is you think.  It just makes us not want to care even more.  We're not as  nonchalant about that sort of shit you say as you think we are. Despite common belief, we really do take was you say into careful consideration.

    So, please, adults of the world, hear us out. You're only making our lives worse, so stop gossiping about us to your middle-aged friends. Stop complaining about us, and condescendingly, stop ignoring our cries of desperation and attention, maybe, it would actually help. 

"If we're fucked up then you're to blame."

-MissVonHusen

    

    

Well no one here, is getting out alive.

" I wont listen to anyone's last words. There's nothing left for you to say, soon you'll be dead anyway."

     Frustration is the core of  many things. Frustration is what is keeping me from living my life. Frustration is dragging me down with it. 

 

Frustration is the biggest asshole I've ever met except for Ian Low.

 

     A consuming lack of selfishness has swept over me these past weeks and has caused me to turn on everyone and everything except for music. I have even abandoned books. I've been so absolutely absorbed in everyone else that I feel like no one cares about me...no one listens to me, everyone treats me like shit. Then I came to startling revelation that it was me. My fault. I was so caught up in thinking I was frustrated with everyone else, when really I was frustrated with me. The person I am. The person I was, because starting now, I'm going to focus on me and get my priorities where they should be before I literally end up in a fucking insane asylum.

"I'm taking it all out on you, and all the shit you put me through"

Yeah, well not for much longer, bud. 

-Miss Von Husen

     

Like violence, you have me, forever and after.

"...Like violence, you kill me..."

     Forever and after.

     Okay, so, if in case you are wondering, that is one whole quote, split up for dramatic effect. Did it work? Probably not.

     Have. Godfuckingdamnit., do you have me wrapped around your fucking calloused finger. I thought girls were the manipulative ones. I shouldn't let you walk on me and treat me the way you do, but I'm  too fucking scared of what'd you say if I stood up to you.

    Kill. I'm not saying this is going to slowly eat away at me until I do perish. It's not, I'm not that melodramatic, but I will say that it will kill the resistance I have that you're  chipping away into a monument of yourself.  After you're done it'll all come crumbling down, like poor old  "Man on the mountain."

Forever and after. 

-Miss Von Husen

He says he wants to as well, but he is a liar.

"Two birds of a feather say that they're always going to stay together, but one's never going to let go of that wire. He says that he will, but he's just a liar."

     What happened to being two birds of a feather, you and I? Did we really drastically change so that our relationship has no hope of ever being the same. Am I actually as different as you claim I am? Or are YOU too oblivious to see that it was actually you who changed. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely grateful to have a such a good friend like you.

     We switched places. I was the coward, you were always the one ready to soar. Now, the roles are reversed and I don't know how to handle it in any way besides simply pretending that all is well and how it used to be. It isn't. "Not even close, bud" But, please, before we part answer one question:

When did you become the liar?

 

Yankee doodle went to london just to ride the ponies.

     No. That is wrong.

1. Yankee doodle, is a YANKEE. So, why is he in London?

     2. Why did he need to go all the way to London just to ride the fucking horses? Not even horses. Ponies. What. The Fuck. What is it Mr. Doodle? Are our horses-no, ponies, not good enough for you? Seriously, some Yankee. 

    Some  people make 3-point arguments. I make 2-point arguments and end them with very well-said closing paragraphs. So, who ever arranged that version of  "Yankee Doodle." was  on some pretty hardcore drugs while writing it. That, or they weren't very familiar with U.S history.  

-MissVonHusen

Past the point of delirium.

     "My mind is set on overdrive. 
The clock is laughing my face.
A crooked spine.
My sense is dulled.
Passed the point of delirium."

     On my own, here we go.

     Being on your own, it's either great or  the worst thing you've ever experienced. I think I know what you're thinking, " Oh, what does a fourteen-year-old girl know about being on her own?" Well, if you were thinking that, you are absolutely correct. Which is why  I am not blogging about being out on your own.


    That's right, I tricked  YOU! 

     I'm actually going to focus on the "delirium" part. Delirium is simply a confused state of mind caused by too much stress, and a few other things. I'm far past the point, I'm more like in a halluncenatory state and have occasional visions of reality.

     I loathe the feeling of being helpless. here's the situation:

    Your friend gives you multiple, obvious-or not so obvious depending on who you are- signs of suicidal behavior. SO, you call that friend, and they don't answer. You tell your other friends your suspicions about this friend and they brush it off as though it is nothing. You feel totally scared and helpless, and god forbid you even almost cry. You find out that this person who has worried you sick for an hour, is fine, but has taken an insane amount of perscription drugs. You're still freaked out, and a little shaky, and they tell you to calm down...

Be careful what drugs you put in your tiger blood, Charlie.

-Miss Von Husen

Such an awful tearing sound.

     Let me just say that in my personal opinion, hand-eye coordination is about as fundamental as global warming. Just saying.

     I've noticed that everyone goes through bouts of depression and loneliness, usually at different times, but occasionally both at once. I think I'm going through one right now. I know, I don't usually blog about myself, but this is an exception.

     Don't you despise that feeling? That feeling of affection for another human being? It's right there in the pit of your stomach, a small tingle at first, but as it grows you start to feel it as a flash of electricity down your spine until all you want to do to make it go away is see the person, and when that's not enough you just want to stab a dagger through your midsection , in hopes that it will escape through the incision. Well, that's my thought process anyway.

   Hey! so check out my other blog, http://sillybilliejoe.blogspot.com/ It's all about music.

-Miss Von Husen