Why am I the one.

"For once, I get the feeling that I'm right where I belong
So, Why am I the one always packing up my stuff?"

 I've come to the really sad conclusion that I'll just never be accepted, and no not in the "I really need to fit in!" or "I just wanna be cool" sort of stupidity. I mean, I have some pretty great friends, and I really like them, and they're not even judgmental or anything, but it's really just me. I'm really weird. It's not even the kind of weird you appreciate in a person, it's just the kind of weird where you instinctively cringe away from.

Now, don't get me wrong or anything I'm not saying I'm the only person who suffers with this problem, you know? and I'm not even pitying myself, really I'm just in a strange way coming to terms with this fact. But Honestly, what can you do? Even if others don't accept you, does it matter? I mean sure, there's a void there that you're missing, but I guess once you get passed it and just focus on you that's all that counts.

I guess most of the reason that I hate being social and stuff is that I'm just so bad at it. I can't even be social around people I'm comfortable with. I use the term comfortable very, very loosely. I try and talk about things that I think can be semi-relatable and it just makes me look crazy, but I guess that things that make me weird aren't very understandable things, but again this is my own fault anyhow.

I really just wanted to tell someone this, because I feel a lot better now that this is out.
Thank you for your time. 

-MissVonHusen

Be Calm.

"Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time?
This time I think it's for real."

Okay so. Bleh. I've been super duper busy lately, but finally my life is slowing down, and I'm beginning to remember what sanity feels like.
I hope.
So I really wanted to share about this project I was assigned in my German class.
Basically, it's a family tree and she said we were allowed to make a "Dream Family" naturally I jumped at this opportunity to be as ridiculous and strange as possible.
Let me explain:
First of all my grandparents are "Creation" and " The Blood of Christ" and my great uncle is "Kenneth Fox". (by request, and genie wish.)  Now, after that, my grandparents came together to create "Unleavened Bread" who married "The Universe"and then in turn, they created "Rachel von Husen" Now, once I grew up I married "God" (featuring a picture of Bob Dylan) and we had two Children:  "Judas Iscariot" and "Jesus". Now, Jesus grew up to marry "Mary Magdalene" and they had the lovely "Simon". "Judas" went on to Marry "Johanna from my German Class" and they had the scary thing known as " King Herod" (The only person in Jesus Christ Super Star[1973] who should have been required to wear a shirt). and naturally there is a hairless cat named "Georg" (pronounced Gay-org) and "Manfred" who is another person in my German class.
I don't blame you if you never talk to me again after I share this with you.
I can't tell if this is awful and sacrilegious or merely entertaining. (at least to me anyway)
The funny thing is that I think I might maybe possibly believe all this god stuff.
But I honestly don't know, I just don't.
DON'T CROWD ME OKAY.
Ugh, I'll never get that music out of my head. Maybe it's the inspiration for this whole project.
in fact I can't stop listening to it.
my brain is forever tuned to JCS.
I JUST WANT IT OUT BWRARARARARARARA.
Oh my god.
What am I.
okay bye.

-MissVonHusen

Could We Start Again Please?

"Now for the first time, I think we're going wrong." 

What is blogging.
Honestly.
I don't even remember what the hell I made this thing for.
Did I find it entertaining? Was that it?
The only thing I remember about blogging was how everyone just fought about how everyone's blogs were "copying" the others
Was that really all that fun?
I remember we'd all play this dumb game of who could guess the number of the person I'm writing about.
I never once did that, but I can say I secretly blogged about a few people.
I could tell you but I mean, honestly do you care?
Does anyone really care about petty things like that anymore?
I've got better things to worry about then if the person I'm blogging about is reading it and understanding the message I'm trying to portray to them.
Hell I could just tell them in person if I wanted to.
But look how cynical I was before.
Was I really that cynical? I mean I'm sitting here now wondering about my life. What happened since the last time I blogged. I mean, I never thought I'd have a steady relationship, I honestly thought I'd be living with cats for the rest of my life, but look at where I am now. I'm in a very happy relationship, with someone I am extremely fond of,  I honestly couldn't even dream of a cat being better than him.
Look at where I am in my music.I never dreamed I'd go to all state, but look, that just finished too. Extremely successful, as well.
I'm also like some sort of social misfit. I guess I've always been, but now I have anti-social friends too.
Weird as that is.
but I guess this is my introduction.
Welcome back to my life Blogger.

-MissVonHusen

I wont be a puppet on a string.

"And I'm tired of all your friends listening at your door and I want what's better for you. So, long my friend and adversary. Oh, but I'll wait for you. "

and if I had the patience to put effort into this post it'd be good. I don't, sorry, Harman,

In fact, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who checks my blog regularly, so for that, I'll try to blog more often.
Don't you all hate that...wait, I totally need to patent that saying. In fact, after I finish posting this I am going to count how many times I've started a blog post with that.

ANYWAY

Don't you hate when you're in reality so alone, but you feel so crowded? Or, you feel used, but no one's even there to use you? It's like you're breathing in hallucinogenics. Constantly altering the way you see things and the way your life actually is and you don't know what the fuck's going on, but there's no one even there to listen.

Yeah, so that song I posted the lyrics to? Has nothing to do with anything I just said.But it's a good song. Check out, Under cover of Darkness by The Strokes.

Maybe it's because we don't have the same finger prints.

-Miss Von Husen

Is this it?

 "Can't you see I'm trying? I don't even like it. I just lied to get to your apartment, now I'm staying here just for a while. I can't think 'cause I'm just way too tired."

It's the basic way of human nature.

1. Deceive
2. Indifference
3. Giving up

Well, that's how I see it anyway. This is my blog post for Harman. He specifically requested I do, so I'm sorry if it's bad.
Anyway, back to what I was trying to say... Humans are very ...stupid. Very, very stupid. There are far and few between who have pushed through that and even they've had their moments.   It pains me to say, that you reading this are not one who has. Nor am I. I don't know what the future holds , but If you're who I think you are, wasting your time, reading this shtuff. You really haven't made your monumental contribution to the world. I haven't. I haven't even begun.

I know what your thinking, "that's one way to build your audience. Insult them." But really? If you've read my blog, you'd know that I insult myself, and you, and everything that's done anything wrong ever. Obviously you keep coming back for a reason, and that's my logic. Hell, leave now if you want. I could care less.

but your still reading aren't you?

and now, you've read the whole thing.

and all I've done is just insult you,

but you think I'M the stupid one?

-MissVonHusen

To keep this boat afloat.

 "We've taken on a climb, and it's long enough to put the best of us on our backs. We're walking up a slide, and there are those we know who'd put us five miles off the track. "

    Sometimes, even the strongest of us fail.

    Sometimes, we can't help ourselves.

    Sometimes, we even need to rock the boat, but we also need to keep the boat afloat. You dig? We need to learn to separate the ones who will throw us five miles, or even five hundred miles off of our tracks. And yeah,  we're gonna fall on our asses, and we're gonna fall on our faces, and some of us will even die trying, all of us will die still trying and probably unsatisfied with the results, but we have to follow the journey through and through. It may be long, but you're lucky if it's long. Depending on the way you see it, maybe you're lucky if it's short. I don't know how you plan to live your life. Hell, I don't even know how to go about living mine. I do know for certain why I don't know how to go about it.

    It's because we don't live our lives. Our lives live us. We have no choice in what we do, life throws us a multitude of choices, we just have the fantastic opportunity to be able to choose from the given choices. You still with me? If not, I understand. Unfortunately we happen to not always get the ideal choices.

    I know you're all probably like, What in the literal fuck? Is this supposed to help us find Jesus or something? No. Also for the record, I don't think I believe in god, I think I believe in life. Y'know, but there's no organized party of "life believers" who sit around and worship Milton Bradley for creating the game. Either way I don't do very well with organized religion or and organized group for that matter.

   A lyricist once said that "Nobody ever seems to remember that life is a game we play."

But really? No one seems to get that  we are a game life plays. 

-Miss Von Husen

He's not selling any alibis.

"You never understood that it aint no good. You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you.

You used to ride on your chrome horse with your diplomat. Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat.  

but aint it hard when you dicsover that  

He really wasn't where it's at

After he took from you everything he could steal." 

Oh, you know it's gonna be a good one when I start off with lyrics from the greatest song of all time.

We all have that friend. The one everyone thinks is fantastic. You know, everyone wants to be this guy's friend.
Then we have the other friend, the smart one, who sees through it.
but does anyone listen to friend number 2? No, because they're talking to Friend number 1.
But he's not going to be your friend for very long.
Just ask friend number 2. She knows well enough that he's definitely not where it's at. But no one listens to her. Why? because they're all so fucking amazed by mediocrity!
Get over it. The chances of friend number 1 staying in your life are as high as me getting to meet a 24 year old Bob Dylan.

Yeah, dream big.

-MissVonHusen